Swear Word Replacement

****Warning**** Adult content (swearing) in this post ****Warning****

There was a thread about impeachment today on one of the mailing lists I run and one of the comments really pushed my button. So I fired off this vitriol (and swear word) laced reply:

> Too bad you decided not to impeach him.

Hey, I didn’t “decide not to impeach him” my motherfucking cocksucking spineless toadying representatives did.

I sent those motherfuckers emails and told them to impeach. I signed petitions telling those cocksuckers to impeach.

And did it do any goddamn good? Fuck no!

And can I, personally, start impeachment hearings? Fuck no!

Can you tell I’m pissed off? I sure hope I don’t have to be pissed off all the time at the next president, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

And if McCain ends up the next president you can watch the news for me. I’m sure I’ll have a stroke driving in my car and screaming at the goddamn cocksucking motherfuckers on the radio.

Fuck it, I’m moving to Mars.

One of the other list members (thanks Magwa!) thought it would be fun to replace all the swear words and this is what he came up with:

Hey, I didn’t “decide not to impeach him” my maternal-procreating male chicken oral pressure-intake(ing) ( adv.) and expelling spineless toadying representatives did.

I sent those maternal fertilizers (adj.) emails and told them to impeach. I signed petitions telling those Foghorn Leghorn orifice pleasurers to impeach.

And did it do any dog-gone (adj.) good? Sexual Intercourse no!

And can I, personally, start impeachment hearings? Sexual Intercourse no!

Can you tell I’m urinated (adj. or v.) off? I sure hope I don’t have to be catheterized (v.) all the time at the next president, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

And if McCain ends up the next president you can watch the news for me. I’m sure I’ll have a stroke driving in my car and screaming at the dog-darn (adj.) Sanders-munching, implanters of seed into those whom have been previously pregnant (ed.) on the radio.

Impale it sexually and fervently, I’m moving to Mars.

I think I like the original better.

%d bloggers like this: