Well we went out to the shop last night and I decided to see if I could fault the ABS before we drove it home.
So I backed out of the parking spot, ran it up to about 20 MPH and locked up the brakes.
ABS fault! Whooo-hoo!
So I went back into the shop and got the service manager. We went back out to the van and when I started it again the ABS light stayed on.
Needless to say, we left the van there for them to look at.
The service manager told me that he had repeatedly done the same thing I did trying to fault the ABS and it never would do it for him.
I guess the van just knows that I hates it, I does.