There's no place like home

Cool. Here's my 15 minutes.

I emailed my "Christian Side Hug" posting to Melissa over at Shakesville and Deeky put a link to it in his post about it!

Woot! Welcome Shakers! 450+ hits already.

Srsly?


"Gimme That Christian Side Hug"

This is so much in this video that is so weird.

Christians are so hung up about sex that they can't even hug face to face?

The juxtaposition of claiming to be a "rough rider" and being scared that you'll get aroused by a "front hug" is very funny to me.

Add in the whole idea of "Christian Gansta Rap" (and yes, it's supposed to be Gansta - sideways hats, sirens and gun shots) just adds another level of hilarity.

(And yes, that's the Star Wars Imperial March they are rapping over.)

[Transcript] [I can't believe I listened to it over and over again to try and get the words...]

(gun shots, sirens)
Oh yeah!
Hands Up!
2009!
What's up Ladies and Gentlemen?
Ya'll ready to party up in here?

(chorus)
Gimme that Christian side hug
That Christian side hug
Gimme that Christian side hug
That Christian side hug
I'm a rough rider
Filled up with Christ's love
Gimme that Christian side hug
That Christian side hug

(rapper 1)
Hoopties are the EG rule so
Pay attention, it's essential
This ain't no front hug zone
You ain't that fly, you ain't my jones(?)
Stop! and listen
No front hugs and no kissin'
I ain't that scared to call yo' mama
You'll be ridin' home wit a coma [mimes hitting - others fall down]
I got my crew
You ain't got nothin
Follow these rules
'Cuz D ain't bluffin
Now ah, you ain't no rabbi
You ain't no priest
So rise up off me
Like the (garbled) with no piece
Now ah, don't use that front hug, boy
That (garbled)
That's inappropriate
You back up off her 'cuz
We wanna keep our minds pure
Wanna keep away from sin
That means it's you too girl
(garbled) arms around him

(chorus)

(chorus)

(rapper 2)
We be walkin' like
We be talkin' like
We be side huggin'
Every day and night
It's how we do, boo
This ain't no club
So don't be hatin' on me when I show no love
We livin' holy
It ain't no thing
So put your hands in the air and let that shoulder hang
I'm goin' global
'Cuz you don't know me
I'm buyin' babies like Angelina Jolie [wtf?]
So quit that huggin'
And slow down mama
And hit my fist like President Obama
Now, Democratic shift in the Congress
Repub! (?)
Democratic shift in the Congress
Repub! (?)
Democratic shift in the Congress
Repub! (?)

(chorus)

(chorus)

(rapper 3)
I'm a married man
You know I can hold hands
Front hug all day long
With no other demands
But as for all of you
Until you say "I do"
No front huggin' or PDA
Or EG time is through
But some of ya'll is slick
Try to pull this trick
Your hug starts from the side
But soon it turns legit
So if you end up here
Then go ahead and scream it:
"When I hug people I leave room for the Holy Spirit"
If a girl walks up
With her arms spread wide
And she's front hug bound
With that look in her eyes
You'd better
Turn to the side
Pat her on the back
Jesus never hugged nobody like that! [how do they know that?]
Screamin'!

(chorus)

(chorus)

(gun shots, breaking glass, everyone falls down)

Well, new to us anyway.

Just got done buying a 1997 Volkswagen Jetta GLX with the VR6 motor in it. It was owned by someone who worked in a body shop, so the body is in pretty darned good shape. It's starting to get some more rust bubbles, but in general it's good.

164,000 miles on it and it drives pretty good. Needs a good cleaning inside, but it's not too dirty.





Sad to say, the Neon is now on the block. It needs more work put into it than it's worth.

Got the K1100RS all put back together last night and drove it to work today.

Here's a shot of it's new skin.

Just got back from a trip to the St. Louis Park Home Depot and I almost smashed up the truck on the way.

Heading east on 394 I get off on the Xenia/Park Place exit. This ramp (if you haven't seen it) is three lanes wide at the end. One left turn lane, one left turn or go straight lane and one right turn lane.

The light was red as I hit the bottom of the ramp. I was going about 60 and coasting down. There were four cars stopped in the center lane at the light and a Jeep Cherokee heading up the ramp in front of me.

I put on the blinker for a left turn and head for the far left lane. The Jeep puts on his right blinker and heads for the far right lane.

As I was about halfway up the ramp in the left lane the light turned green. I started accelerating again to make the light and beat the cars in the middle lane through the corner. I was probably doing about 40.

At the last possible moment the Jeep decides he wants to turn left. And he wants to do it from the far left lane. The lane I'm in. He puts on his left turn signal and makes about a 90 degree turn across the lanes right in front of me. Frankly I'm surprised he didn't clip the back end of the last car in the middle lane, he left it that late.

I've been watching him - since my spidey sense was tingling - so I see his blinker and as soon as I realize he's coming all the way over into my lane I stomp on the brakes, jam on the horn and steer as far to the left as possible.

By the time I get stopped he's in front of me at about a 45 degree angle and my front right corner can't be further than 2 inches from his door. My horn is still blaring and his window is open, so I know he knows I'm there.

What do you think he does next?

He completely ignores me and the fact that I just about smashed in the whole side of his Jeep and heads up the ramp and around the corner.

Most annoyingly he turns left again on to the service road and doesn't go to Home Depot! I so wanted to yell at him!

I'm happy the ABS helped me stop (I'm sure faster then without) but I sure missed the sound of locked up tire squealing.

If it wouldn't have been such a hassle for me I would have steered a little less and not braked quite so hard. But of course, I would have been hitting him from the rear and it would have been all my fault.

Putz.

In case you didn't notice, I've gotten a twitter account and have added my tweets to the left sidebar.

My account name is twforeman if you care to follow my stream. It's golden....

Daniel Miessler has posted a top ten list of the most important Firefox plugins for the InfoSec Professional.

It's a pretty good list - I knew about a couple of them.

I have them all installed now.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

First off we have Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pwning the fuck out of the Dumbest Congressperson on the Planet, Republican Mike Pence of Indiana:


Transcript here

Next we get to see Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pwning the fuck out of Republican Chris Smith of New Jersey on Reproductive Rights:

Transcript here
I just love seeing the words "Secretary of State Hillary Clinton".

(h/t to Shakesville!)

Yes, I am referring to Michelle Bachman. That big bag of bat-shit crazy that we (well not me, as I'm not in her district) sent to Washington.

Michelle is a model Republican in that she likes to make stuff up. Hell, let's call it like it is, she tells lies. And the main stream media doesn't call her on it.

Good thing we have bloggers like Wonkette:

Michele Bachmann’s got her name in the newspapers again! This happens very easily: go on the wingnut’s radio show, get asked “what’s the reaction” in Minnesota to the fact that the state has an “openly” Muslim congressman (Keith Ellison) who knows Muslim people (Barack Obama?), and argue that the liberal media is not concerned enough about this very obvious terrorism, what with the Flying Imams and stuff who probably all know Ellison from Muslim parties and Al Qaeda.

The transcript is full of teh crazy.

The four co-founders of website The Pirate Bay have been found guilty of assisting the distribution of illegal content online by a Swedish court today and have been sentenced to a year in jail and a $3.6m (£2.4m) fine.

Read the full article and view an interactive timeline of the case on The Guardian's web site.

(Pirate flag graphic from Immolation Central - Used under CC license)

(Sorry about the lame image lapping down into the previous post - this style has some issues I guess.)